WHEN THEY STILL SAY YES: The Joy of Traveling with Adult Children

“As long as they keep coming, we’ll keep inviting them.” It’s my immediate response every time my

husband asks if we should invite our adult children to join us on a trip. When they were young, we

cherished our rare solo getaways to reconnect and recharge as a couple – and thankfully we had

energetic grandparents who generously stepped in to make those times possible. Today, the dynamic has

shifted. Our adult children are off in the world, leading full lives, managing busy careers, and building

exciting futures with their partners. So, whenever they can carve out time in their calendars to join us for a

family trip, we embrace it as a meaningful way to deepen family bonds and create lasting memories

together. And the addition of their partners has brought new layers to the experience that continue to

surprise and delight me.

In my next post, I will share a recent family trip to Venice and the itinerary I planned to balance time

together with space for individual adventures. While travelling with your adult children brings many

rewards, it can also present a unique set of challenges. With each trip, I have learned to better manage

these challenges and enjoy the ride for what it is: a beautifully imperfect blend of connection,

compromise, and shared discovery. Like all worthwhile things in life, it continues to be an evolution.

Why Family Travel Matters – for Everyone

1. Traveling with adult children lets you spend time with them on equal footing. When everything is

new, it is harder to slip into the old patterns of parent and child. New cultures, new locations, new

lifestyles – all of it can be experienced for the first time together, encouraging conversations and

revealing perspectives that were previously unknown or unstated. As a parent, it’s incredibly

satisfying to watch your children navigate new situations and recognize the capable adults

they’ve become.

2. Family travel allows time to get to know your children’s partners in a deeper, more relaxed way.

There is something about being in an unfamiliar place that fuses a family together, most

especially its newest members. It creates a feeling of belonging - of being a wanted and essential

member of the whole. From our trips, my daughter in-law has emerged as the family navigator,

possessing supernatural powers with Google Maps, and my future son in-law’s expert culinary

knowledge brings an adventurous element to foreign menus. Their presence has woven new

colors into our family fabric and we have come to know them in ways that wouldn’t naturally occur

during casual Sunday dinners at home.

3. When I plan a trip, I know that specific places and activities will be forgotten over time. No one will

be able to recall the name of the museum or the restaurant we loved, but I hope we will all

remember the laughter, the inside jokes, the unexpected detours, and the wonderous moments

that turned into irreplaceable memories and the building blocks of our family story. Our children

are grown now and there is very little of substance that I can offer them that is new or needed, but

with travel I can set the stage for a lifetime of curiosity about the world, tolerance for other ways of

being, and greater insight into their own experience. I really can’t think of a more valuable legacy.

Bumps in the Road

As the primary travel planner in our family, I find the greatest challenge is creating an itinerary that strikes

the right balance between time together and time alone for each couple. In the past, I have made the

mistake of overscheduling days, fretting over late arrivals, and feeling overly responsible for everyone’s

wellbeing. It can leave one drained and resentful. And when you add the stress of jet lag and a shared

bathroom, it can ignite family drama at a time when you least want it.

Over time, I changed my expectations and my planning process from a parent-led itinerary to a

collaborative adventure, never scheduling more than one shared experience in a day and leaving plenty

of intentional downtime for individual exploration. The result has been a far more relaxed vibe for

everyone and – to our surprise - many unexpected texts from our children inviting us to join them at the

cool bar they just found. It has given me a useful template for loosening the reins in our larger life,

showing me how to be a parent without the parenting. And finding true contentment in watching our

children create their own life itineraries.

The Bottom Line

Traveling with adult children and their partners is a special gift. It’s an opportunity to experience the world

through their eyes, to witness and support the relationships they’re building, and to create memories that

will forever shape your family history. Of course, there will be challenges – but they can be overcome with

flexibility, humor, and the understanding that it doesn’t have to run perfectly for it to be perfect. In the end,

these trips remind us that family isn’t just something we’re born into – it is something we can continue to

build, one adventure at a time.

For a detailed review of our most recent family trip to Venice, please look for the upcoming post: A

Family Celebration in Venice